


It's Bloody Perfect

by umplsstop



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AREYOUHAPPYNOW, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Connor Isn't dead, Evan is a vampire, Evan never broke his arm, FINE ILL TAG IT AS FUCKING VORE, I couldn't help but add more than one chapter lol, M/M, Set in same timeline, Supernatural - Freeform, Undead, Vampires, Vore, Well - Freeform, but someone else is, if you squint its tree bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-02-05 04:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12786615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umplsstop/pseuds/umplsstop
Summary: Evan's a vampire. Yeah. He's not wearing a large black coat with red eyes and pale skin.And no, let me stop you right there. He doesn't fucking sparkle. He burns and it hurts like hell.





	1. Chapter 1

Evan sat in the back of the classroom, eyeing Brendan and Nicholas--two jocks--push Connor Murphy around. They should know better, considering what happened in second grade.

"What are you, some sort of vampire?" Brendan snorted, nudging Connor. 

Where is the teacher when this stuff happens? Oh right. Gossiping with other teachers in the lounge. 

Connor took a step back, hissing.

The two jocks immediately burst into laughter, and Evan had to admit, it was pretty fucking weird. 

Trust him, vampires don't hiss. That's an insult.

The bell rang, letting Connor breathe. He shouldered his way down to the back, in a seat right by Evan. Evan glanced at his red rimmed eyes, dark and matted hair, and pale complexion. It was easy to see how someone could come up with that.

Evan breathed him in, and winced. His blood smells rotten. 

Connor noticed his looks, and narrowed his eyes. "The fuck you looking at?"

"Uh...Nothing.." Evan stammered, and looking away.

"Right. Freak."

Evan ignored him, just clenching and unclenching his sweaty fists repeatedly. Humans annoyed him.

 

Evan laid eagle spread on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. God he was hungry.

The door creaked open, Causing Evan to shift his position. Heidi Hansen walked in, a box that said "WARNING." On the front. 

A delicious scent flooded the room. Evan stood up, eyes dilating. "B positive?"

Heidi grinned. "Your favorite."

Evan ran up to her and hugged her, nostrils flaring at the yummy aroma. "Thank you."

"No problem," she said. "I have to go to class now, love you."

Evan opened up the box, where two bags of blood lay. "Yeah. I love ya too," he said as he delicately picked a bag up.

Heidi glanced at him. "Don't drink it all in one sitting. I'll see you later," with that, Heidi left her home.

Evan sighed. He felt bad for his mom, and his dad the reason why humans always bugged him. His father is mortal, and Heidi loved him nonetheless.

And she never told him about her being a vampire.

After Evan was born, she finally told him when he was seven. In disgust, confusion, and anger, his dad stormed out. Now he's with a _human_ cocktail waitress.

Evan huffed, squeezing the bag a little too tightly with his long nails. Who needs humans? All they are is a tasty meal.

Evan's dilated pupils turned to slits as he bit into the bag, hungrily suckling the blood out. After he ate his fill, he let go and threw the empty bag into the trashcan. He shut the box, and shoved it into the fridge where nothing but sirachi sauce and animal blood was.

For some reason, spicy things could be used as a supplement for blood.

 

Evan sat outside in the courtyard. The same thing as yesterday was happening. 

The two Jocks were hitting Connor around. 

And as usual, they had uncreative insults.

"Aw, is our little vampire friend getting upset?"

Connor glared at them. "You're the freaks!" He growled, then hissing. 

Nicholas laughed. "Aw, maybe he's a little kitty cat?"

"Don't unloved animals get put down? Say, isn't a vampire just a bat?"

Brendan grabbed Connor by his collar, and Nicholas followed them to the fountain. "Hold his legs."

Nicholas held down his limbs as Nicholas dunked his head into the fountain, holding him under. Connor didn't even kick or fight back, just shrieked.

Evan decided he had enough. No, not for Connor's gain, for his own, Evan strutted up. "H-Hey!"

His heart pounded. He may be immortal, but these two could break his legs. 

"Leave him alone!" Evan demanded.

Nicholas froze, giving Connor a chance to get a gasp of breath. Connor looked over at Evan, water dripping down his face. Eyeliner dripped down too.

Jesus, he wears eyeliner too?

Air wasn't long lived, for Connor was dunked into the water again. Brendan however, let go. "Heyyy isn't it Hansen?" He stepped over Connor's legs, grinning. "Short stacks."

Evan suddenly realized his height at 5"6 wasn't helpful against the 6 foot jocks. "Creative." He stood his ground.

Suddenly, Nicholas was behind him and Connor was on the ground on all fours hacking and greedily gulping for air.

Evan paid him no mind. "You need...You need to leave him alone."

"eh? Why is that?" 

Why is that? Why is Evan helping him?

Without replying, Evan tackled Brendan to the ground, his nails digging into soft flesh. Brendan hit his head against the stone, and Evan immediately jumped off of him. "Fuck!" He didn't mean to knock the poor kid out. Evan whirled around, to see Nicholas furious.

"What the fuck man!" Nicholas yelled.

"Oops?"

Evan kicked out, knocking heads with Nicholas. He sniffed. Nicholas was B positive. Evan without thinking, with dilated eyes, sunk his teeth into Nicholas. Nicholas slumped into Evan, who held onto him. After a minute, he came to his senses and let go. 

Evan looked up, making eye contact with Connor, who is now standing up and wide awake. "Woah. What the actual fuck?" Connor rubbed at his eyes. "Okay I am actually tripping. Too much pot."

Cursing himself, Evan looked between the two knocked out boys. His breathing got heavy as he realized what happened. If he gets suspended his mom will be so dissappointed and--

"Hey dude, are you like okay? you're freaking the fuck out and it's freaking me out too..."

Evan snapped his gaze to Connor who awkwardly stood there, drenched. "We got to go."

"Fan fucking tastic."

 

Never thought Evan would end up in his home, a towel wrapped out Connor murphy across from him. "So."

"So."

"You saw that."

Connor shrugged. "I'm still ninety percent sure I am just still tripping and I didn't just see you bite that dudes neck and like...drink his blood for a whole minute."

"And if you weren't tripping?"

"I've seen some shit," Connor admitted. "Honestly, you being like some demon dude or whatever is the least of my worries."

"Oh." Evan awkwardly shuffled in his seat. "Well I'm not a demon. I'm what you humans call a vampire."

Connor's eyes widened. "That's badass!"

"You and Jared have very similar reactions."

Immediately, Connor's excitement vanished. "That asshole knows too?"

Evan got up, stretching. "It was by accident," he promised. "You're the second person to know actually."  
Connor raised an eyebrow. "And if I tell someone?"

Evan rolled his eyes. "I uh..I know you wouldn't." Hastily, Evan added: "Nobody would believe you either."

"True," Connor mused. "So like, what's it like being immortal. How old are you?"

Here's that question. Jared had the same one, then got super upset when Evan admitted he wasn't like a thousand years old. To be honest, Jared doesn't even notice Evan's vampiric tendencies. He keeps a bottle of sirachi at his house now though.

"I'm thirty seven."

Connor froze. "Wait, so you're not like... a hundred years old?"

Evan rolled up his sleeve to show a tattoo that said '1997.' "I was bitten in 1997. So no, I'm not."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Anything else?"

"can you like...Smell blood?"

Evan sniffed the air, then grinned. "Yup. And flesh. Yours smells rotten, so don't worry about me eating you."

"I wasn't, actually."

Connor shuffled.

"You have one more question, don't you?"

Connor nodded, eyes glowing. Shit. Evan hasn't seen Connor ever this happy. He wasn't even smiling or anything, he just got the same look Jared got when he talked about anything to do with numbers.

"So like, do you sparkle or some shit?"

Evan wanted to die. Let him die. Stop this immortality shit. Why?  
"Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut the hell up."

"So is that a no?"

"What the fuck do you think?"

"Who knew shy hansen got so fired up?"

 

* * *

 

 

Okay, when Connor actually showered, he smells like heaven. 

Evan shifted, staring at Connor with wide eyes. After Connor found out Evan was not human, the two hit it off. "Hey Connor?"

"Hm?" Hummed Connor, rubbing a towel over his drenched hair. He looked a lot how Evan first talked to him.

"Are you B positive?"

Connor froze. "How'd you know?"

Evan just tapped his freckled nose, and Connor knew. 

They sat in silence. After a few minutes, Evan ran a hand through his hair. Connor smelt good.

"Is anyone home?" Asked Evan, glancing at the locked door.

"Nah. Mom's at Yoga, Zoe is at rehearsal, and Dad's at work." Connor smirked. "Why?"

Evan mustered up his courage, and shimmied close to Connor, leaning close. Connor backed up into the wall, and Evan  chewed on his lip. His nose was right at level with Connor's neck. "You smell... divine," whispered Evan.

Connor tensed up. "Really now?"

"Mhm. I want a taste."

"Wait what don't vampires need permission or some shit--" Connor cut himself off by letting out a high pitched whine."Fucking shit that hurts--" Evan sunk his teeth into Connor's neck.

"Oh God, Oh god," Connor chanted. "Oh my Lord. Nevermind...Fucking--"

Evan smirked against his skin. Vampire bites after the pain felt good for some mortals. Apparently Connor is one of those mortals. Connor quieted down, letting out a whimper. Connor nearly slipped from his jello legs.

Evan wrapped his arm around his waist, slowly lowering him down to the bed. Gingerly, Evan let go and stepped back. His pupils slowly went back to normal, and Evan came down from his high. Connor panted on the bed, brushing his fingers against the bitemarks. "Holy fucking shit. What the hell was that?"

"A feeding...Uh...Sorry?"

Connor shuffled awkwardly. "I'm assuming human Evan and Vampire Evan are completely different people?"

Evan flushed pink. "Yeah sorry...I kinda lost myself?"

"Feed again any time," awkwardly said Connor.

"Really?"

Connor nodded. "Yeah just don't like...Kill me?"

Evan grinned. "I could never."


	2. Jared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heres the story on how jared found out about Evan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasnt going to but for some reason there's demand for a part two?  
> u vore loving fuccs sinn
> 
> hey heres my shitty tumblr go yell at me  
> http://failedfalencho.tumblr.com/

Evan didn't mean for Jared to find out. Really. That's just how fate works sometimes.

But here Evan is, sucking on a bag of B positive blood just as Jared fucking Kleinman walks in. He knew he shouldn't have given the spare key to him. 

Jared and him have been friends since they were born, practically. He's kept it up for fourteen years, now here he is in all of his vampiric shame.

Immediately Evan lets go, and his pupils change from the dilated slits. 

"woah, Bro," Jared stares at the bag. "Is this prank, or like... You into some freaky shit?" Jared slowly shuts the door behind him as he took cautious steps forward.

Evan froze. He could lie and say it's a prank--Jared most likely not believing him--or tell his best fr...

..Best _family_   friend.

Best family friend, the truth.

"Uh, can we talk?"

Jared shrugged, jumping onto the cheap leather couch. "Hit me up."

Evan gingerly set the bag down, careful not to spill any precious blood. He slowly sat down next to Jared. "You heard of the l-legend erm..Vampires, right?"

"Who hasn't? Twilight wasn't that bad of a movie," admitted Jared. "Team Jacob for the win baby!"

Evan shook his head at Jared's antics. "Vampires don't actually sparkle."

"How would you--" Jared cut himself off, wide eyed. "I Swear to fuck Evan the next thing you're saying is--"

"Well I am one!"

Jared jumped to his feet, eyes wide. "Dude! I don't fucking believe this awesome as fuck shit!" Jared cackled. "But you? A vampire? Nah, you're afraid of spiders!"

Evan flushed red. "Those are creepy death crawlers!"

Grabbing the bag of blood, Jared inspected it. "So what is this actually? Kool-aid?" 

Before Evan could stop him, Jared suckled onto the bag. He immediately threw it to the ground and gagged, spitting it out all over the floor. "What the fuck is that shit?" Jared made eye contact with Evan. "No really, what is that?"

"Blood. B positive, to be exact."

Jared's eyes widened. "So like, how do you go outside?"

"Clouds and sunblock are a thing, Jared. Why do you think I carry it everywhere?" Said Evan, pointing the basket on the kitchen counter. "That's why we keep so much."

Jared rolled his eyes. "I thoughtHeidi was just nutty."

"That too."

"So she's one too," Jared said slowly. "Your sweet mother who loves me dearly?"

When Evan just nodded, Jared fistbumped the air. "sweet!"

"So can you bite me?"

Evan snapped his gazes, eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

JAred moved his collar. "Come on!"

Evan moved closer, sniffing at his neck. "O negative?"

"Dude, I don't  even know!" JAred grinned. "That's so cool,  man!"

Without warning or further explanation, Evan sunk his teeth into Jared's bared neck.

Jared screamed, body convulsing slightly. Then, he slowly relaxed, letting out a breathy gasp. "Oh my Jesus Lord to Zeus above help me!" He whined. Evan wrapped an arm around his waist, biting a little harder just for  any times Jared was an asshole. O negative wasn't his favorite, but Jared didn't taste half bad.

After JAred nearly passing out, Evan pulled  away. He wiped his red lips, grinning at JAred where he could see his blood-stained fangs.

"I always thought you were weird as fuck," murmured Jared before passing out.


	3. Alana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3 am and I cant sleep so I'll just write a story about how Alana found out

 

Evan never means for people to find out. He hadn't meant for Jared, Connor...okay well maybe Connor a little, but that isn't the point.

The point, is that in fact  _another person found out._

He frowned,  tugging at his sleeves, a nervous habit and the fact the sun is out. He adjusted his sun hat. Heidi is going to be disappointed.

_"Jared knows?"_

_Evan shrugged. "I'm so...I am so sorry!" Evan zipped and unzipped his jacket multiple times. "I didn't mean too and I..." He trailed off._

_Heidi sighed, rubbing her temples. "Will he repeat this?"_

_Evan thought back to the whole event. "No. I uh.. I don't think he cares."_

_Heidi narrowed her eyes, flashing black. "Nobody else better find out, got it kiddo?"_

_Evan gulped. "Y..Yeah."_

_Softening her features, she ruffled Evan's hair. "I love you, and I want to keep us safe."_

_"Sure. Ri...Right!"_

Evan broke free from his thoughts, watching Alana in pure shock as she stared right back at him. Right, this was happening now. Think, Evan, Think! How do you explain the fact you have some weird ass "magical" power?

Ah yes, he should explain what exactly happen. Well, firstly it was dumb as hell and Evan should have never attempted it in school. In his defense, he never thought somebody would walk in...

_Evan noticed he wasn't doing too hot in English as their report cards were handed out in homeroom, first period which was science. (He did amazing in that, by the way) All day it was his goal to reach his final period and talk to his English teacher. That's all. Talk._

_Heidi, despite them being vampires, heavily pushed that Evan should have good grades. Why? He doesn't know. He's been in school for longer than he can count. Heidi just kept him enrolled though. Anyway, if she found out his grades were dropping that wouldn't be fun._

_Evan looked up and around. English had ended. Perfect. Just a little...persuasion._

_When Evan made sure, he pulled Mrs. Hamb aside and looked her right in the eyes. His own flashed, and he whispered softly. That vampire charm, you know?_

_"You now will get very sleepy... and sleepier... and now you're exhausted," he whispered, watching Mrs. Hamb's eyes droop. "Now listen, very carefully... And repeat after me 'I will improve Evan--'"_

_Evan was cut off by a door opening, he screamed as he watched Alana Beck walk in._

_"Oh my god! oh my god! oh my God" Alana screamed. "What is happening!?"_

 And that's how Evan is now here in this situation.

"Please... Please stop screaming!" Evan pleaded. 

Alana's eyes were big and staring at Evan and the teacher in horror. "What did you do to Mrs. Hamb?!"

Evan dropped her. "She will uh... she will wake up soon!"

Mrs. Hamb's body murmured something and stirred. 

Cursing silently to himself, Evan grabbed Alana's wrist and ran as fast as he could. Which surprisingly isn't that fast considering he was a vampire. 

Hey, we can't all be winners.

Once they were a safe distance away from the school, they sat down at a near park bench.

Alana sighed, adjusting her collae. "Now Evan, if this is a prank you should just--"

"I'mavampirepleasedon'ttellanybody!"

Alana slowly looked over at Evan. "Uh, Evan, Vampires aren't real!"

"I Uh.. i can prove it! All I was doing was charming her to raise my grade!" Evan was tempted to use his charm right--

"Okay. Use your charm on me then."

Evan shifted, looking around. The last thing he needed was a cop or somebody finding this.

Evan held on to her, whispering. "You Uh... you're getting tired. And more tired. Now you are exhausting," Alana's eyes began to droop. "You believe I am a vampire. You believe I am a vampire. You believe I am a vampire." 

As Evan whispered in her ear, Alana murmured along: "You are a vampire."

"Now wake up!"

Alana snapped up, eyes wide and bloodshot. "What the fuck! You're a vampire! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Well I Uh--"

"BUT, Evan, raising your grades like that isn't how you learn! I can tutor you in English, and you can tutor me about vampires!"

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry it's so shitty just me and @dearevanmurphy were like...VAMPIRE AU??? and so iwas like YESS and here i am sorry.  
> here's my tumblr:  
> http://failedfalencho.tumblr.com/


End file.
